I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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