Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
