Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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