The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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