i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
