I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
