I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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