Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
