how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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