Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
