i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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