Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

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(902): and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted. http://tfl.nu/575h

Replies (136) Good night (7705) Bad night (55859)
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(207): View more from Maine

There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself

(207): View more from Maine

OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...

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(207): There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself (207): OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE (781): Sounds like a good blink 182 concert... http://tfl.nu/nai8

Replies (27) Good night (951) Bad night (3879)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

is drinking for groundhog day legit?

(1-484): View more from Pennsylvania

well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes

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(484): is drinking for groundhog day legit? (1-484): well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes http://tfl.nu/k04d

Replies (21) Good night (6205) Bad night (636)
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(928): View more from Arizona

She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.

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(928): She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon. http://tfl.nu/cf99

Replies (31) Good night (8515) Bad night (2951)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it

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(778): You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it http://tfl.nu/gf74

Replies (7) Good night (4161) Bad night (1420)
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(765): View more from Indiana

He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.

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(765): He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube. http://tfl.nu/tf6d

Replies (2) Good night (2048) Bad night (636)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"

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(918): this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun" http://tfl.nu/d07w

Replies (16) Good night (3642) Bad night (1089)
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(641): View more from Iowa

Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples

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(641): Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples http://tfl.nu/d5pz

Replies (3) Good night (530) Bad night (1695)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death

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(262): You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death http://tfl.nu/q3md

Replies (4) Good night (1051) Bad night (728)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.

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(785): Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective. http://tfl.nu/28pg

Replies (13) Good night (522) Bad night (750)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...

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(605): he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful... http://tfl.nu/18jg

Replies (3) Good night (1103) Bad night (368)
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(801): View more from Utah

Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.

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(801): Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell. http://tfl.nu/ht90

Replies (4) Good night (1217) Bad night (333)
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(734): View more from Michigan

The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"

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(734): The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!" http://tfl.nu/glab

Replies (3) Good night (553) Bad night (222)
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(315): View more from New York

turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes

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(315): turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes http://tfl.nu/o917

Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (204)
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(210): View more from Texas

Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.

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(210): Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that. http://tfl.nu/0yso

Replies (0) Good night (347) Bad night (144)

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