K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.