Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.

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  (714): I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality. http://tfl.nu/yabq
  Replies (10) Good night (939) Bad night (1195)
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  (315): View more from New York

  playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps

  (315): View more from New York

  warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey

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  (315): playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps (315): warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey http://tfl.nu/dgn3
  Replies (86) Good night (4092) Bad night (690)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.

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  (401): i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much. http://tfl.nu/qwgv
  Replies (17) Good night (3987) Bad night (757)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

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  (541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests http://tfl.nu/dcsh
  Replies (201) Good night (81934) Bad night (4940)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...

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  (404): i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with... http://tfl.nu/j0qq
  Replies (27) Good night (3962) Bad night (926)
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  (818): View more from California

  he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....

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  (818): he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was.... http://tfl.nu/srrx
  Replies (31) Good night (4740) Bad night (3144)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???

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  (609): i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on??? http://tfl.nu/8had
  Replies (51) Good night (1095) Bad night (4984)
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  (516): View more from New York

  any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?

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  (516): any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/452g
  Replies (15) Good night (4631) Bad night (960)
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  (914): View more from New York

  It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.

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  (914): It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle. http://tfl.nu/tr9x
  Replies (38) Good night (3404) Bad night (6970)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.

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  (708): I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you. http://tfl.nu/xqfj
  Replies (8) Good night (1260) Bad night (4140)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing

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  (573): If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing http://tfl.nu/6uck
  Replies (10) Good night (2518) Bad night (959)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Run away.

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  (403): She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian. (403): Run away. http://tfl.nu/pkbx
  Replies (6) Good night (1087) Bad night (2122)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Lets just say I chased with a burrito.

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  (513): Lets just say I chased with a burrito. http://tfl.nu/8s3e
  Replies (4) Good night (931) Bad night (565)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.

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  (506): There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet. http://tfl.nu/yw9h
  Replies (23) Good night (1192) Bad night (670)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.

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  (416): In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/a66n
  Replies (1) Good night (793) Bad night (297)

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