I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
