Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.

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  (651): I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning. http://tfl.nu/un48
  Replies (23) Good night (3269) Bad night (515)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler

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  (417): oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler http://tfl.nu/3vc3
  Replies (36) Good night (524) Bad night (4948)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.

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  (859): I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song. http://tfl.nu/z4jp
  Replies (62) Good night (1175) Bad night (3524)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.

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  (765): I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan. http://tfl.nu/88ss
  Replies (182) Good night (1316) Bad night (4142)
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  (619): View more from California

  Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?

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  (619): Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it? http://tfl.nu/4s1d
  Replies (34) Good night (1953) Bad night (4515)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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  (508): Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila http://tfl.nu/42fz
  Replies (24) Good night (1370) Bad night (3821)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?

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  (509): I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night? http://tfl.nu/36p9
  Replies (11) Good night (978) Bad night (2049)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?

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  (+44): Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert? http://tfl.nu/uki8
  Replies (4) Good night (2432) Bad night (895)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.

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  (706): Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat. http://tfl.nu/kq42
  Replies (4) Good night (2324) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities

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  (217): Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities http://tfl.nu/y8n2
  Replies (3) Good night (2508) Bad night (1334)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.

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  (806): Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain. http://tfl.nu/iymf
  Replies (16) Good night (3099) Bad night (804)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work

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  (705): You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work http://tfl.nu/80dk
  Replies (5) Good night (1990) Bad night (660)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.

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  (270): I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right? (1-270): It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking. http://tfl.nu/u0kh
  Replies (5) Good night (1560) Bad night (343)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?

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  (201): Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend? http://tfl.nu/yz0d
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (275)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.

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  (330): I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend. http://tfl.nu/a48i
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (200)

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