I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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