You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
