can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
