i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
