on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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