the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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