He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
