She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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