Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
