i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
