i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
