we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
