Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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