never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
