Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
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Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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