I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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