Do you still have your period?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
