So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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