Sponge bath it is.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
