Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
