i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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