My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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