not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
