I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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