you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
