I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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