so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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