She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
