Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is wine microwaveable?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
