Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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