just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
