i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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