we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
