In America we eat man semen.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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