Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
