I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
