her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
