I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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