he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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