I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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