so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
