how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
