JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
