So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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