Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
