Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
