i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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