I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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