i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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