I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
