Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
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