They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
