Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
